Stage Select
by Thanos6
Summary: Every Smash Bros. match has an audience, but how do they get there? A quirky look at the publicity materials used to sell tickets.


_-N-_

 _Press release:_

 **Stage Select** , Videoland's premiere travel agency, is proud to announce its involvement in helping to create the most amazing contest of all time. Twelve of our realm's greatest heroes have agreed to take part in the inaugural **SUPER SMASH BROS.** fighting competition:

The plumber brothers **Mario** and **Luigi** , their dinosaur friend **Yoshi** , and the greatest of all the great apes, **Donkey Kong** ; the hero of Hyrule, **Link** ; bounty hunter **Samus Aran** ; first-rate pilot **Fox McCloud** ; the pink puffball from Pop Star, **Kirby** ; two strong and skilled Pokémon, **Pikachu** and **Jigglypuff** ; F-Zero racing champion **Captain Falcon** ; and last but not least, the PSI-powerhouse **Ness**.

For regular season matches, nine famous areas of Videoland will be used as arenas, and that's where Stage Select's involvement comes in. As _the_ authorized Super Smash Bros. ticket vendor, we're offering special packages. When you buy a ticket for a match, we'll throw in a free night's stay at local lodging, with an option to stay for a second night at a discounted price. Each host area has their own unique charms that will reward an extended stay:

Surrounded by gently rolling hills and a softly flowing river, **Peach's Castle** is as welcoming as the princess who lives there. Knowledgeable Toad guides will be happy to show you around the grounds and answer any questions you may have.

A fine example of tropical beauty, **Congo Jungle** is renowned for its lush foliage and gorgeous sunsets. The natural splendor includes giant trees and flocks of Neckies in flight. The bananas, which are so bright yellow they're almost glowing, taste even better than they look.

At the heart of the land of the same name, **Hyrule Castle** has a centuries-long history that longs to be discovered. Its tall towers jut from the mist like bright emeralds, catching the far-off eye. The horizon is dominated by a superb view of foreboding Death Mountain.

A harsh yet striking world, **Planet Zebes** was once the main base of deadly Space Pirates. If you're a danger lover or thrill seeker, you can't do better than exploring the craggy surface, with its rising and falling tides of acid and roaming predatory Wavers.

There are few places more leisurely than **Yoshi's Island**. The native saurians are easy-going and welcoming, and the many luscious varieties of fruit growing from the Super Happy tree hit the spot as you watch clouds drift by all around you.

The whimsical kingdom of **Dream Land** is a place of unhurried relaxation. Gentle breezes are a welcome companion for a nature hike through the woods. The Bronto Burts flying lazily overhead provide a perfect example of the laid-back pace.

Once the site of a frantic battle, **Sector Z** is a must-see for anyone with an interest in military history. This isolated region is littered with the wreckage of spaceships and ordnance. The famed Great Fox and its accompanying flight of Arwings make for a spectacular sight as they perform regular patrols.

If you're a collector, **Saffron City** is the place for you. Silph Co.'s multi-story headquarters provides a glimpse at in-development technology of all sorts, and many Pokémon—such as Venusaur, Charmander, Butterfree, Pidgey, Fearow, Electrode, Chansey, and Porygon—may be located in the area.

To experience the past, look no further than the **Mushroom Kingdom**. Part of it has been rebuilt to resemble the way it looked during the first invasion by the Turtle Tribe. Koopa Troopas, Buzzy Beetles, and Bullet Bills who took part in the occupation are on-hand to tell their tales first-hand.

As well as those nine primary arenas, there are three additional ones that are reserved for special exhibition matches after the regular season is over and the winner has been decided. They are located in a unique part of Videoland, and although there are no surroundings to tour, it is estimated that these matches will sell out fast. Get your tickets so you won't be stuck watching them at home:

In the hazy cave of **Meta Crystal** , each fighter will engage in a one-on-one battle with a nigh-unstoppable juggernaut of a foe, one who is simultaneously strange and familiar.

Under a pink, purple, and green sky, the dozen competitors will step into the **Battlefield** , joining forces against a horde of faceless doppelgangers in this "Duel Zone."

Near a juncture where many dimensions meet lies the **Final Destination**. Here the season's victor will take on the competition's organizer in a battle for the ages!

Just remember, your local branch of Stage Select is the only place to get tickets to the biggest sporting event since the Videolympics. Don't miss your chance!

 _-N-_

 _(Author's notes: I have no idea where this idea came from, but it was refusing to go away until I wrote this and got it out of my head. I'm considering doing similar installments for the following games in the series, maybe changing the style up a bit for each one._

 _I was a big fan of Captain N growing up, and though I certainly recognize its flaws now, I still have quite the soft spot for it. Given the similarities between it and the Smash Bros. franchise, I couldn't resist putting in a few references to it. If I continue this, there will be more._

 _I hope you enjoyed it and are looking forward to the next one. Let me know what you liked and what you didn't.)_


End file.
